Some offices require it and some don't. For the ones that do, normally they just want you to get a copy of the ID card and house book of a Thai person, that person doesn't actually have to go to immigration with you. I'm not sure if there's a form for it or not though.
You could do that, but if you ever need to go back to your bank and they want to look at your passport, they could close your account. Or if they decide to do a new wave of KYC in the future and freeze accounts until the owners come in for verification, you could lose it then as well.
you can use any agency, don't have to keep using the same one. But if you're not clear for this one (which sounds like the case) you could try an agency that will use your immigration office and your own money which will clear you for your own next year.
1) When did you deposit the 850k? Was it deposited before the agent got you an extension? If not, then you cannot get this extension yourself.
2) What province is the extension from? If it's from this far flung province, it's probably known for agent extensions and likely they'll tell you to use an agent again when you go into immigration and they see where your last extension was from. The TM30 isn't really relevant.
The marriage visa doesn't allow you to work. A work permit allows you to work. But a marriage visa does allow a company to apply for a work permit for you if you're eligible and they're able to sponsor a foreign work permit.