i don't think there is. You can always ask if there's any way to get it faster when they're asking you to pay. That's what I usually do and has worked for me in 2 other offices. But I've never gotten one from CW.
The ONLY way to get a work permit is to be sponsored by a company. Whether that's someone else's company or your own, it requires a company. For each foreigner they want to employ, they must have 4 Thai employees.
Being well prepared has nothing to do with it. Some immigration offices tell you to come back in 1 week to pickup your residence certificate. Some send it to you in the mail. You can be prepared as you want, and that won't help you if you have an office that does not issue the residence certificate immediately.
You cannot open a bank account in Thailand unless you already have a long term visa. So you cannot come to Thailand as a tourist with the plan of opening a bank account and then applying for a retirement visa, because you need a bank account to apply for the visa in Thailand.
Apply for the 90 day non-O visa online from the Thai embassy before you go to Thailand.
If it's not issued before you travel to Thailand, you'd be stamped in 60 days visa exempt. If it's then issued you would have to leave and return to use it.
You cannot apply for a non-OA visa from anywhere except your passport country.
And getting a non-O visa isn't possible without a Thai bank account, which you cannot get without a long term visa.