Which extension were you trying to get? A non-O based on marriage can only be extended 2 ways:
1) a One-year extension based on marriage to Thai, including proof of funds in your Thai bank account for 2 months, and a large number of other things which varies by immigration office
2) a 60-day visiting Thai family extension based on your Thai wife. Not all immigration offices offer this extension.
For both of these, your wife would need to be with you and your marriage would need to be registered in Thailand at an amphur office.
Get the non-O with your bank balance in the US. Come to Thailand and use that non-O to open a bank account and get yourself setup for the future.
Then before you come next time, get another non-O visa, and once you arrive you can transfer the money into the Thai bank account you already opened and you'll be well positioned to apply for your 1-year extension.
Anonymous participant 256 they don't know if it's a non-O based on retirement or marriage unless it's mentioned on the visa. Immigration doesn't have access to the MFA computer system. When they scan the QR code they see basically the same stuff that's on the visa.