Make an appointment at Bumrungrad for a physical, or any other consult - buy a ticket and send in your E-application to the Los Angeles Thai Embassy. You should have a DTV within two weeks. Ask me how I know.
In the last two weeks, I've been to Kasikorn Bank, three different Bank of Bangkok Banks, and a Krungthai Bank - all of them have stated different requirements. I'm here on a DTV and have plenty of assets to show if asked. I've all but given up, except for asking a friend who is dating a branch manager to open me an account. Wish me luck! T.I.T.!