Yes there is lots of vegetarian food here but don't expect the street vendors or small restaurants to know every ingredient of all their oils and sauces nor to be sure the food doesn't contain any meat (even if they pretend to be sure) and be aware that many Thai "vegetarians" do eat seafood so there's plenty of risk of confusion or mistakes (but that isn't because they aren't "vegetarian-friendly").
The biggest (but low probability) risk is that immigration / police does one of their ocassional crackdowns on corrupt practices, which leaves those who obtained visas / extensions through such schemes needing to leave the cointry or worse. A smaller (but high probability) risk is that your investment portfolio doesn't produce +3% annual return (24k THB) in a particular year and you end up not actually saving any money (or losing). Even if things goes well, achieving +3% return will most likely require some time to monitor and manage the portfolio, and assuming you place a non-zero value on your time, the logic behind this plan unravels.
I'm not sure I fully understand your predicament, but the solution is to jump out of the window, walk or crawl across the road to Bumrungrad, tell them your health insurance number and explain that you suspect you've suffered a severe stroke, as well as sustaining a few physical injuries from the jump, and they will provide you with the help you need.
you forgot to mention the other scenario (with a 99% probability) - you stay in the SHA+ hotel for 1 night, test negative, and continue with your holiday. everyone travelling internationally during a global pandemic has to accept some uncertainy - the much bigger risk is that the virus situation changes suddenly and you get stuck on the wrong side of new restrictions.
The most difficult part is often getting all the docs required from the seller. If you can't get them, you haven't bought your girlfriend a bike, you've just given someone some money and borrowed their bike.