@Gregory ******
You will probably get a bit of negative feedback from this (as you've already seen) but with the relative low cost and ease of obtaining the DTV, it seems to be a great choice for someone who has the luxury of working from anywhere, and maybe gets bored easily.
Outside of Bangkok, car (or motorbike) dependency is a definite consideration. I spent a week in Nonthaburi recently and there is just no way to do it without a vehicle. I tried.
As far as pollution, any city anywhere in the world has it to varying degrees, but you obviously want to avoid Chiang Mai in the smokey/burning months; thats pretty much as bad as air quality gets anywhere.
Desert dust and a lack of rain certainly arent an issue in Thailand :D.
I think you might like Khon Kaen or Udon Thani. Still real cities (this coming from a native New Yorker); I havent been to Udon Thani personally, but ive spent a fair amount of my Thailand time in Khon Kaen so I'll focus on there. Probably need a vehicle to get around (Unless you want to us Bolt/Grab everywhere) though there is some public transportation along the main roads if you really want to go that route. There is an active nightlife there when you want it, both Thai and farang bars and clubs are easy to find, anything from speakeasies and beer bars to live music and night clubs. Shopping is readily available in several malls as well as day and night markets. There are also a decent number of parks and lakes, even with the bypass/ring road area, and a lot more once you head out in any direction. It isn't Bangkok, but it may have enough of what you want out of Bangkok, and less of what you don't.
The other approach you might consider is if Bangkok is close but not quite it, step down the city size until you find what you like. Plan a week initially, and if you like what you see make it a month.
Bangkok > Chiang Mai > Nakhon Ratchasima > Khon Kaen > Samut Prakan.
This is