Especially when they have to deal with people who are kind of arrogant... All over Asia. This is cultural. Respect and humility is the key in Asia. Then, everything is easy. 😉
Why not come for holidays first ? You can arrive with a NZ passport, you will receive a free stamp allowing you to stay 60 days, which you can extend once for 30 days at an immigration office for 1'900 Baths.
Contact the French embassy in Bangkok. They might help you. Of course, you will have to pay back all the costs involved but at least, you will have a propre legal help. That's life dude...
Ate you trying to get a tourist visa for yourself in Thailand ? (You cannot!) Or are you trying to get a visa for USA for your girlfriend ? You can try with the USA Embass in Bangkok...