Exactly. I like how the OP had the self-awareness to not just vent, but to outline exactly the things he realized would have made his case more presentable.
. So it sounds like this is one of those typical situations where they don't explicitly exclude Non-Imm (unlike the previous order that said "only tourists"), but they also don't explicitly include Non-Imm either. The ol' plausible deniability card. ;)
If she's gonna be your bride, don't bother with the U.S. tourist visa. That will be much harder for her to qualify compared with if she is your wife. For U.S. visa purposes Wife = Family. Anything else: Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Fiancee, etc. = Just another Thai person wanting to get visit the USA.