First you have to get your marriage certificate legalised. Your home government will have a service for this. It is sometimes called apostilled/attested. The government simply guarantee your marriage document is genuine. You then have to get both documents translated into Thai and then pay your Thai Embassy to confirm the translation is correct. It is much easier to do this in your home country than in Thailand. When you are ready apply for a Non Immigration O visa based on visiting Thai family (your wife). When you get to Thailand they will stamp you in for 90 days. open a Thai bank account deposit 400k. This has to be in the account for two months before you can apply for your extension, so do it ASAP. As soon as you can take your Thai wife to the immigration office and they will supply a list of documents and photos they require for a marriage extension. The first one can be a little daunting but it is not as hard as it looks. Good luck
Why should you be worried? The crackdown is for visa-exempt abusers. It doesn't affect visa holders unless you have a history of staying long-term in Thailand using visa-exempt entries.
That just gets you your initial Non-O it does not get you your yearly extension. To get a year extension you need 800k in Thai bank account for 2 months before you can apply and 3 months after and then keep a minimum of 400k until you apply the next year and do the same again.
OMG don't come back as you will be arrested for a massive overstay. You should not have used the auto gates as they're reserved for people that don't ask stupid questions. Seriously, what did you think happened. They have these auto gates all over the world
If you are at the main passport entrance there is a lane marked Thai passports and this takes you to the fast-track area to the right of the main passport queues. There are independent fast-track entrances but they told me are not for business class. Make sure you retain your boarding card.