The process should be quite straightforward for your husband, he will have the long term visa and can therefore open a bank account before extending his stay. Your situation is a bit more complicated, but maybe a bank will be sympathetic and open an account for you at the same time as your husband. If not, you might need to see if an agent can help you with that part of the process. Everything else should be fairly straightforward, as others have said extend your tourist visa and then apply for the non-O. If all else fails, you might need to go to a neighbouring country like Vietnam to apply for your non-O, before opening your bank account etc. Good luck.
the only difficult part is opening a bank account. He already has a bank account. It's very easy, I did it myself inside Thailand, it's nearly the same as an extension. What is so difficult?
For the first year you need to follow the rules around 800,000 / 400,000 as others have stated. When you apply for your second extension, if you have deposited 12 x 65,000 monthly amounts, your second extension is based on the 65,000 method. I believe you can then withdraw the 800,000 immediately. Someone will correct me if there's an overlap period in the second year.
yes, I forgot to say the immigration people are very helpful. If you dress appropriately, behave politely and have all the documents ready and organised it's a very easy and stress free task. I have extended my stay 3 times now and on average it takes me about 45 minutes.
Yes it is a requirement, but if someone is coming to Thailand that doesn't have a sum of money for an emergency, it makes sense to have it. I don't know how much it costs as it will depend on the individuals background (age, existing medical conditions etc).