Just play GTA for a few hours and then ask yourself if you can handle it in real life. If the answer is "no" then pat yourself on the back fir not being retarded.
Their life but I would not advise anyone, especially someone in retirement age, to live here if they don't even have a lousy 800k baht liquid. Shit can go south real quick here and money is the only thing that sometimes gets you out of it.
Print out some ad for a 30 million baht pool villa and set up a fake email pretending to be the seller and produce some purchase process correspondence between yourselves. Print, bring to bank, and they'll fall over themselves trying to give you an account. As an extra, the clerk might even wanna be your gf (until she realizes the only villa you'll ever buy is v-an-illa.
I got a secured credit card (not a shitty debit card that offers little fraud exposure protection) from Bangkok Bank by simply opening a fixed deposit account (I put 1m into mine so that's my limit) and pay off the card by direct deduction from my other, regular savings account.