Every Thai embassy in the world is on the e-visa system and only accepts applications through the online portal. You won't even be allowed onto the embassy property without the printed form that you receive after submitting your application online, which lets you go to the embassy to pay the fee for the visa.
You provide them your information, they send it to the immigration at the airport, and then when you get to the airport you send them a photo of yourself with what you are wearing, and an immigration officer will meet you and stamp you into Thailand visa exempt.
It's probably okay. But it will be at the discretion of the immigration officer. It only takes a few minutes to apply for a tourist visa online, so if you want to be safe, I would go ahead and do it.
You don't have to fly to Thailand at all if you don't want to.
The entire application process is online. You apply through the BOI on their website
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The application process can take 1-3 months, depending on how complicated your situation is.
Once you are approved, you will receive an endorsement letter that is valid for 30 or 60 days, I forgot which one.
They will then ask you, do you want to apply for your visa through your Thai embassy online, or do you want to go to Bangkok to pickup the visa and have it applied into your passport?
If you want to get it from the embassy, you will apply online with your endorsement letter, and pay whatever your embassy charges, likely more than the 50,000 baht stated as the price. Your visa will then be a printed pdf document that you have to carry for 10 years along with your passport.
If you want to go to Bangkok to get it, you will need to make an appointment with the BOI to go into their office at One Bangkok and they will take you over to the immigration office where you will pay exactly 50,000 baht and receive the visa in your passport, so you won't have anything extra to carry around.
yes your visa is used and you receive an entry stamp giving you permission to stay in Laos. The visa is done at that moment and you're using your permission to stay. When you leave they cancel your permission. But if you get denied they'll un-cancel it.
visa exempt is still 60 days. If you want to be safest, get a tourist visa before you go the first time. Then for the second entry use visa exempt. Probably need to be gone a couple of days depending on the border you use, but if you fly out and back then no need to stay out.