Tod Daniels having previously worked for more than 20 years with the largest immigration firm in the world, I would concur and say that this response is all that is needed in response to the original post.
The only thing I would add is that a US immigration attorney may provide you with other potential options that may be available in addition to a tourist visa.
Foreigners love to complain about the corruption in thailand-- until the time comes that they need to bribe someone at immigration to get a visa they don't qualify for.
Wow. You've solved covid. Knowing that you all live in the same place, go to the same places, are exposed to the same people, etc. will change everyone's opinion. Have you contacted the WHO yet? I'm sure they will want to replicate your immune system and inject the world with it.