I also thought on the Philippines as a plan B. They've easy visa requirements. You're absolutely right about the food there. Nothing to eat except of fast food.
So conversation from tourist visa to a non-o, within Thailand, is impossible if you don't already have that 800k in a local bank? Yet you can't open bank account based on a tourist visa...
So is it better start the process in Thai embassy in my home country? I thought I could avoid that...