You can/have to do it via web site. And: need to be outside Thailand to stamp it into your passport. As far as I understand it, you have to apply via a certain country, and use an embassy/consulate in that country.
Look, take it simple. The immigration officers like to chat. Sometimes they are just curious. I used to live in one of the most remotest regions of Thailand. Nakhon Phanom, the most north east province in Isaan. I had to do some border hops to Laos to get a new entry stamp. I fly back to Europe and come back 2 month later.
So they ask me. What are you doing in Thailand? I visit my girlfriend. Why are you not married? Her husband is not signing the last paper, he wants to blackmail me to pay him 10,000THB. Oh, who is your GF? So I give the name. And says, ah, funny my colleague in the room is same family!
The other time I got asked half the same question, but it started with: Show me your hotel reservation. And I said: I have none, I fly now to Sakhon Nakhon, my girl friend will pick me up and we drive to Nakhon Phanom ... and she asks what address will you live? So (that time I had not memorized the address completely) I pulled out my phone, and went to contacts, and showed here. And she said: you are lucky, she is beautiful. Then she made the stamps and said: to bad that you fly already, we could have dinner this evening.
And so on. They ask, because it is their job. They ask because they are introverts and this kind of job helps them to pretend they are extroverts.
They can ask and talk about what ever they want, without having the introvert hesitation of: oh oh, what will the other one think if I ask this or say this.
As long as you do nothing criminal: with an METV you can cross the border in and out as often as you want. Except conversational questions, they will not really ask anything. Worst case proof of cash ... but that never happens on METV visas or similar as that was handled when you acquired the visa.
If you take the same border, it is likely someone will recognize you, and lead you to a table, fill in the papers for you, makes the stamps and guides you to the other side.
They are doing their paper work. Their job is not to keep people out. They want to be promoted, so they want to have perfect paper work. That is all.
I have a company and soon a work permit. So: under the new rules, which are decades old: I can nearly do what ever I want. Except prohibited jobs. And opening a beer bottle is not a prohibited job. But no worries, I do not run a restaurant.
"All it needs is somebody Thai who hates you and who will snitch to the police"
Does not work ... I can a restaurant in any role I want. Since minimum 10 years.