I don’t understand why they would be asking you for your TM 30 at immigrations upon entry into Thailand because it’s required to be filed within 24 hours of your arrival at your hotel or residence.
don’t know if this is true or not, but it could explain the reason why some banks will allow you an account and others will not. I was told that each bank is, while under the umbrella of a major bank, individually franchise, and it’s up to each branch manager how they operate. 
no you do not get anything actually delivered to an address. You only get the E Visa email to you. However, I believe the Thai regulations state that you must apply from a country in which you have residence
remember it’s 800 K each for the first year for the second year. You can each put in 65,000 each every month on the same day in an account in your name only. your husband will have to do the same so after you get your first year Ext start right then to depositing the money every month do not miss a month so for your second extension, you can show 12 consecutive payments 
I agree getting the non-O 90 day visa in your home country is the most advisable thing to do however, if you apply today if you are leaving in two weeks, and you apply for the visa today, you may not receive the visa before you leave, I know in the US on the Thai E Visa website it says to allow as much as 15 working days to receive your visa. I realize it rarely takes that long, but it’s something to consider. 
how could you possibly do that when American Airlines does not even fly into Thailand, what do you mean is you bought your tickets through American Airlines and then flew on a partner airline like JAL
long-term retirement visa is a 90 day visa before the 90 days runs out,if you want to stay in Thailand, you must extend that visa 0they will allow you to extend the visa for one year. prior to applying for the extension You must have the money in the bank so on and so forth, but you always have the Visa. It’s the Ext that you have to do every year.