In country extension? I wouldn't risk it, because anything that can go wrong will go wrong with an in country extension. The account you're showing should be in your name and the balance of a minimum of 500k for 30 days before you apply. Just bounce.
Now that your spouse has the DTV you can apply as a spouse category and reference their DTV number, You can supply your own funding requirement or your spouse can write a sponsorship letter depending on the embassy you're applying through and your financial particulars. You'll also supply marriage license. For the children the exact same process except you'll choose dependent with birth certificates as proof and again a sponsorship letter with the main DTV holders qualifying bank statement. All applications can be submitted through the main DTV holders Thai evisa account.
Which consulate? You can just put a hotel. You're applying too early, three months in advance max. You can apply for your dependent children as soon as your approval completes you then supply your visa number and choose dependent in the drop-down box each child will need a separate application and a separate fee. You can do them all from your online evisa account. Dependent applications are typically approved pretty quickly
It's a requirement, you'll only slow down your processing time by not submitting it along with your other mandatory documents. Where do you plan to apply from?
From what I recall most Western Nation embassies don't have any time limit for seasoning. You can use the group search tool with keyword Canberra and read up.