you make it seem very difficult, yes if the person is a moron, you are probably correct. The process is not difficult, so for everyone else I would say the easiest way is to apply for the non-O in their home country first. They can then easily open a bank account here and deposit the 800k without needing an agent. They then have a couple of months to go to immigration for list of requirements and get their documents ready to apply for the 12 month extension of stay.
I have done a few online reports and up to now they have always been approved within 2 days. It seems like you have a problem if it's taken a week already.