@Jermaine *****

if they did, they were subtle about it,

I didn’t see it. Maybe setting me up to gaslight me? To be honest,

I don’t care. I’ve been in Southeast Asia a long time and it’s FILLED with gatekeepers and 99% of them are old and/or white men that were quite mediocre in their place of origin but now they are some sort of demigod and they love to lord it over other travelers. Boring and predictable.

@Jermaine *****

it doesn’t slow them down. Serial abusers will always tell the victim they need to have manners. 🙄

This kind of behavior on social media is just the grossest hobby ever. Jesus.

@Jim **********

you saying this to me isn’t even related to what I said? I don’t know you- maybe you have a guilty conscience or feel defensive 👀 😂

I didn’t at all suggest that asking clarifying questions is mean.

For sure it can be frustrating when people seem to not know even basic things yet they’re out here trotting about the planet blissfully ignorant… But if I feel like I wanna make that remark to them out loud, I step away. It is frustrating when they don’t include enough information because obviously they’re an inexperienced traveler and don’t know what matters -and so yeah, we have to ask extra questions. But asking questions doesn’t have to feel like you’re punching someone in the gut? That sort of unkindness is just another form of gatekeeping and it really gets old.

@Stephen *******

I mean it’s true so why tell the guy mentioning it to have manners!? 🤣

Why not tell the jerks to have manners and knock it off? 🙄

I will never understand feeling comfortable insulting and humiliating an absolute stranger that is literally just existing WTF 🤦🏻‍♀️

Why are you all acting like there aren’t jerks in this group? People that are consistently quick with belittling someone? It’s like people wanna act like jerks but then if someone says, ‘hey, there are jerks here’ you get offended and want to talk about how they should have more manners than to mention it!?

It’s like in some groups there is a lot of anonymous posting because the group is supposedly a resource but you get so bashed for asking anything, (I mean, ADVICE is in the name!?) you just have to post as anonymous sometimes because you’re not in the mood for a beating. 🙄

This group can be brutal sometimes and mentioning it isn’t a big deal.

Fantastic report!

@Kathy ***********

small stuff!? Someone having to deal with all of those details- in their grief, desperate to try to do it right to honor you? That’s sort of unfair isn’t it? People feel very pressured trying to figure out what decision to make that would be appropriate or pleasing to the dead person. I know I have emptied my house and gotten rid of all my belongings so my kids won’t have to deal with going through stuff and getting rid of stuff. My wishes are clearly laid out so siblings don’t have to worry about and argue about what they think I would have wanted. It’s a very considerate and loving thing to do for your family, to have a plan. It’s also why I’m getting cremated -I don’t want to be in the ground someplace where people have to feel bad about not going to visit that site. Burn me. It’s a fraction of the cost of funeral and burial and then anyone can have a little bit of me if they want. It’s just about being thoughtful to the people you love?

@Tore ********

yes, I forgot about that!

@Matthew *******

but it’s what’s required 🤷🏻‍♀️