Agree with that. The issue is that emigration starts with a 90 day visa (non-O) and some airlines (or their employees) think that is a short term visa.
Unfortunately people don’t know everything. That doesn’t only apply to people from Thai governmental organizations but also people from everywhere else.
You said the money doesn’t need to be in the bank until you apply for extension, which is wrong. It must be in the bank 60!days before the application for extension.
You tell Mark to learn to read? Hmm… Have you heard about the pot and the kettle?
That said, I understand you’re a bit emotionally unstable when you add you’re having your period… 🙄
Step 1 is really to inquire at the immigration office. You’re legally married to a Thai national, which is the requirement for extensions based on marriage. There’s nothing about straight or same sex marriages.
When they refuse: Find a lawyer. They (IO) will create headlines for being backwards and my best guess is they won’t like it.
Note: The Dutch embassy runs a few LHBT-etc programs. Inquire there on how to proceed.