Emphasis on "almost" is important here. Probably should ha e said you stand a better chance to win the lottery.
I have tried almost 20 bank branches in Bangkok and Phuket and refused at all due to visa (METV). Most who say it's easy here have not done it in some time.
Not quite. And they didn't "whine when they didn't get what they want". They responded back to all the nasty, obnoxious, off-the-cuff comments that make them feel good instead of just ignoring what is being asked and keep scrolling. But of course some here have just carried their nastiness from their home country. Moving didn't make them any better people.
And your statement that they should look at the embassy website is pretty useless. If you go to the NYC Thai Embassy website there is no obvious information on any other type of website other than a Tourist Visa. Nothing on education, retirement or marriage. Nothing on elite. Nothing except tourist. You have to know to click the Tourist Visa application link.
And in reality, half the comments here never would have been said in person. Just keyboard warrior nonsense.
It's really great that you know everything from traveling here so many times. Maybe after the OP has been as often as you they will be an expert like yourself.