Thanks for all your answers, although the final solution for me is not much clearer. So, from a visa on arrival stamp in my passport, (not a visa an exemption) what is my quickest and cheapest route to a retirement visa? I have the 800,000 baht, (currently in my UK account), I have proof of address in Thailand from the local Thai Immigration office stapled into my passport, I have medical certificate from a doctor at the local hospital. I apply today for a UK Police certificate for visa application purposes. I have 2 passport photos. To complete the checklist I believe I must open a Thai bank account and deposit 800,000 baht in it for 3 months, but keep on getting told different stories. First, I can not open a Thai bank account on a tourist visa I am told many times from many different sources. Other sources say it is easy for ferang on a tourist visa to open a Thai bank account in Bangkok or Pattaya.
The Bank of Bangkok branch in Trang, my preferred branch to open an account, they say I must have a long stay visa, no 30 day tourist visa exemption. They told me to ask about a long stay visa (oa, ox) and I can open an account with this. The immigration office told me the same. They say a Thai bank account is not a requirement for this visa although I will still need to show 800,000 baht in gbp has been in a UK account for 3 months. No problem for me to show this.
I asked a question, your response is not an answer. Your initial comment on not being able to rely on basic honesty in this country is the reason I asked a question. If you are Thai or not, assuming all Thais lack basic honesty is a questionable view to have. Be prepared for more people to ask questions. Racism is the same whether it comes from ferang or native Thai. It is wrong and deserves to be challenged or have a light shined on it so all can see and learn right from wrong.
I just took ownership of a lovely used motorcycle without experiencing a lack of basic honesty. All I experienced was friends eager to help a foreign person to start to build their new life in Thailand. Everyone sabai sabai, although very different to how vehicles change ownership invthe UK. Some misunderstandings and a need to have support from a Thai friend for translating and interpreting, however I see no dishonesty from the Thai people around me here. Maybe you have had one or more bad experiences, but remember that assuming makes an ass out of you and me, my friend. Have a nice day.
"worst weather," is a bit of a myth really. Some of the best weather days are during rainy season in my opinion. The heat can be oppressive all year round but more likely to be too much during dry season.