You are of course free to go through all the steps to get the marriage recognized in Thailand if that's important to you, but that's irrelevant to the US visa process - the marriage only has to be legal for US immigration purposes.
A marriage where one or both parties was not present (proxy marriage) is not valid unless the marriage was consummated.
(1) Consummated: For the purpose of issuing a visa to a “spouse,” a proxy marriage that has been subsequently consummated is valid as of the date of the proxy ceremony. A proxy marriage consummated before the proxy ceremony is not a marriage for visa adjudication purposes unless it has been consummated subsequently.
(2) Unconsummated: A proxy marriage that has not been subsequently consummated does not create or confer the status of “spouse” pursuant to INA 101(a)(35). For IV cases, a party to an unconsummated proxy marriage may be processed as a nonimmigrant fiancé(e). A proxy marriage celebrated in a jurisdiction recognizing such marriages is generally valid another marriage in the United States is not necessary if the applicant is admitted to the United States under INA provisions other than as a spouse. See 9 FAM 502.7-3(B) for additional information on fiancé classifications.
For a routine renewal of an adult passport that was issued for full validity, the form is DS-82 regardless of whether the application is made by mail or in person.
Proof of onward travel is a theoretical requirement (sometimes enforced by airlines, very rarely by Thai immigration) for entry on a visa exemption - it has nothing to do with TDAC.
The visa-free "transit" scheme in China requires that you depart to a different country than the one you arrived from, so the OP is seeing if there's a way to game that to his advantage.
I don't know what happened in your case, but there is absolutely no requirement for a US citizen to maintain a US address - and I say this as a former passport officer.
The issue isn't jurisdiction over another country's laws, but jurisdiction over the people involved. As long as one or both of the couple are residing in a particular country (however that country defines residence), they can theoretically divorce in that country - that's why American couples back before WWII were able to go to Cuba or the Dominican Republic to dissolve their US marriages. Whether the country will agree to exercise that jurisdiction is a separate question.
All Thai banks are required to do FATCA reports whether they want to or not, and whether or not they have any American customers, due to a bilateral agreement between the US and the Bank of Thailand. Even Thais must fill out a form stating whether they are a "US person" for FATCA purposes, and the actual reporting of account information is automated.