@Bruce ****************

- thank you for your kind words. I didn't know about the palliative care situation in Thailand. I thought that they had morphine but thank you anyway. Everyone is saying the same thing that she had no chance no matter where she was. For me it's putting every jigsaw piece into place then I can rest 😔🙏🏼

@Stig *************

- thank you Stig I appreciate your comments that's the great mystery for me but certainly most people are saying the same thing. Obviously it doesn't make me feel any better it just puts a few more of the jigsaw pieces into place 😔🙏🏼

@Christopher **********

- thank you Christopher I appreciate your comments. I think she wasn't too ill with the sepsis during the 10 day window I remember reading that you would need an oxygen cylinder I think she could have got home in that window. I appreciate though what you said and about cancer in general 😔🙏🏼

@Darren ********

- wow Darren what a story you have to tell too! Can't believe you returned from such grief to find out about the ex...as the saying goes you missed a bullet although obviously it didn't feel like that at the time. It's heartwarming to hear that from that gloom you rose up and sorted out a better life for yourself.

I can totally relate to what you said about the medical situation. For me I question why she wasn't told to return home and then they did nothing for 6 weeks. Someone else has said that she probably wasn't well enough but she should have been sent home at the earliest opportunity. Thanks again for your support 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@Sam *****

- thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. I have found a tremendous amount of comfort from reading all the lovely supportive comments. I am still putting the jigsaw together but tonight I think it's maybe now 95% complete. She was such a wonderful woman I miss her beyond words 💔😔🙏🏼

@Cliff ********

- thank you so much Cliff for your kind words and comments. It's great to hear it from a medical practitioner because obv I'm trying to put everything together. The sepsis was caused by the tumour blocking the tube from the kidney to the uterus. I guess once this started she was in a permanent downward spiral. I hadn't even heard of sepsis originally and have since learnt it is a big killer. Would you believe I told her you can't die from an infection? What a numpty 🙄... I have learnt so much these past months. May I ask you a very important question? What is your opinion of her travelling back to Thailand when she was first discharged? I am 100% sure she would have been able to get home. She was doing well during those 10 days. Anyway thank you again for everything you have said its much appreciated 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@Mike ******

- thank you Mike very wise words. The lovely words and support from everyone have really helped me. I am now able to better come to terms with my role. I still have some doubts and will continue to research a little more but I have found people's comments uplifting 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@Leonard ********

- thank you so much Leonard for these lovely words and wisdom. I am glad I posted this because its really been eating me up but the overwhelming support and belief is that I did my best. Its obviously made me feel better but I still need to put the final parts of the jigsaw in place to fully accept that there was nothing that I could have done. I have been trying to understand the Thai culture to funerals and reading about Buddhism but still struggling to understand. Her daughter explained some of the rituals that must be performed to release her soul I was a little humble and shocked but understand too. Thank you so much for the link it's the first time I have been given something that I can read to understand it from a Thai perspective even though I have been trying to find out myself. So big thank you for this it's so important for me to understand her family's needs and desires. I shall read it tomorrow as it's nearly 5 am here. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@Todd **********

- thank you Todd that's a beautiful way to put it. I really appreciate this kind thought 😔🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@Evan *******

- thank you Evan it is one of my big questions....would she have faired better in Thailand. I am still researching this it is very difficult to know. One thing I do know though is that the NHS made big mistakes the biggest of which was not advising her to immediately return to Thailand. They did nothing for 6 weeks but let it grow they didn't even take a biopsy until they removed the tumour. Anyway thank you for your kind words 😔🙏🏼