actually when you are greasing palms (tea money) it's not legal, maybe accepted in the past, but not technically legal. Not much different from getting a speeding ticket, but because your dad knows someone, it will go away.
if you have been watching this site as of late, agencies in Pattaya amongst other places have been shut down with opening accounts on tourist 60 day exemptions.
Come in a 90 day non-o evisa and you can potentially open a bank account if you have the visa, certificate of residency and good luck. Your "pensioner visa" will get you the account (hopefully) so that you can get a yearly extension for that visa. The 60 day exemption makes it near impossible to open an account these days.
Dude, those are just pictures with nice looking ladies. Doesn't mean any more than you took a picture with them. I mean if you do that well in the U.S., why would you think you have to pay for it in Thailand with your skills?
that may be true for Bangkok and surrounding areas. I was there in November with a 90 Non-O Evisa and I was turned down in all but 1 bank (Krungthai) in the Nong Khai and Tha Bo district. They all wanted a certificate of residency and Nong Khai immigation won't do one unless requested and the banks won't request one. They won't even accept a copy of the CoR I got for my drivers license. I was the first Evisa they had seen and they just didn't (wouldn't) believe it was a legit long stay visa.