The main reason people want to get off the Non-OA visa is the insurance requirement. To do this exit Thailand on the last day your Non-OA is valid for, go to a nearby country, apply online using the consulate relevant to your location, apply for the Non-O, wait until it has been issued to you and return to Thailand. Then wait until you are down to the last 30 days and apply for the extension of stay (assuming you already have the required funds in a Thai bank)
Assuming you got a Non-O 90 day visa based on marriage most immigration offices will allow you to apply for a 12 month extension of stay when you have 30 days or less left, some 45. But you also need funds in a Thai bank for 2 full calendar months before you can apply. Go to the immigration office for their exact requirements
As far as I understand it the only way to do this is to convert your DTV into a 90 day Non-O based on being over 50 at an immigration office inside Thailand. You would of course have to meet the requirements for that visa as defined by your local immigration office. You can't apply outside of Thailand until your DTV expires as you can't hold 2 visas simultaneously.
said. If you are on a Non-O based on retirement your wife (and probably child) will NOT be able to get a Non-O visa as your dependant inside of Thailand, nor in any nearby country. She might be able to get one in your home country but you don't say where that is, but it's more likely they would require you to be on a Non-OA visa for that although she might also be able to get one in your home country once you are on a 12 month extension of stay. Really you need to talk to the Thai embassy in your home country about the possibilities.
why not just get the 90 day Non-O visa from Laos while you are there and you will have no problem entering, then all you need to do is get the 12 months extension of stay before the visa expires?