nothing I can do that u cant buddy, just an on line form to fill out, did my partners last week for the UK, did it on my phone in bed in about an hour... give it a go
your comparisons dont compare to filling out an on line form though do they, think your taking it a bit to the extreme dont you, but if I had a cotton field and all the other necessary equipment needed to make cloths yes then I would make my own clothes, but I dont, however I do have a phone which was all the necessary equipment I needed for all my visa applications so far
i have had the exact thing happen on all my applications where it puts my middle name as my first name, I too emaild them but had a reply and it simply stated that this was normal. Never have I had a rejection though.