@Steven *****
you really have limited options given your extensive travel
I'd say it comes down to DTV if you can find a way to qualify for either the workcation or the soft power category
OR
do what I said and go to HCMC to get that year long, multi-entry Non-O visa, that'll get you in and out all you want for the year the visa is valid for
You are correct, they answered you wrong because that spouse category is for foreign spouses to get piggy back DTV when they're married to the primary holder, not anything to do with having thai wife/child 😕