What are the current views on Sin Sod in Thailand, and how is it typically handled after weddings?

I offered 20thb, but her mother said it was too much.

“iF yOu doNt pAy YoU wiLl LoOk bAd”. Yes if you don’t pay the whole village will shun you by not asking you for favors and refuse to ask you to pay for their alcohol. If you do pay then you will have face and honor and people from all corners of the village will come to marvel at your generosity and shower you with their requests for interest free forgivable loans…. I didn’t pay. I don’t think I’m missing out on much. But the wedding ceremony does have a part where the sinsod is supposed to be presented. Since we did have proper wedding rings and gold is an acceptable dowry then the cultural compromise was they displayed our wedding rings for the part of the ritual where the sinsod is presented. Just talk it over with your fiancee what they expect and what you are comfortable giving

Well if you're like years older than your girl you will be expected to pay up obviously, what else do you think she's in for?

Flat right out refused to pay anything

it’s a Hindu tradition anyway

Paid for the Wedding that is enough

Wife happy with that so don’t care about what the family may think as I’m not married to them

Try saying NO!

For the sinsod if they claim they will give it back after the ceremony don’t count on it. Don’t give anything you can’t afford to get back. They will probably buy alot of food and drinks on consignment for the wedding and keep ordering from nearby stores during the event, then take money from the sinsod to pay off the bill which will probably be a significant amount. Also the wedding guests will give money when they arrive and someone will write it down in a notebook which might add up to alot. Her family will probably keep that money. After the ceremony people will tie little strings around your hands and put 20-100 baht on it. It won’t add up to too much but they will probably let you keep this money.

It varies as others have said. I've seen different permutations. Some give it all back, some give nothing back, some give part back, some give it to the couple to help them set up their life, some like to be seen to give and don't want it back

My thai wife’s answer : “Husband is rich can give more. Husband is not rich not give more. Wedding not big just pray for grandparents can give 3000-5000 baht. Big wedding, normal maybe give 100,000-200,000 and gold.(how much gold) up to you ”

If you're not a sod who sins then who needs it?

Ever hear of a Thai man paying SinSod?

If you are a man of means and her family is poor then I would not do the sin sod but would instead spend money to help them, before and after the wedding. Buy them a new refrigerator, put a new roof on their house, get her mom's teeth fixed, things like that. Improve the quality of their lives, be very generous with them, but always on your terms.

If for cultural reasons you need to present some cash/gold at the wedding, fine, but it must be understood that you get this back at the end of the ceremony. You have wealth, they are poor, straight up giving them cash is not going to help them as much as you being a leader in their family.

You are not a young man courting their daughter, you are a head of household and you should act like it. Marry her and then help her family, but remember always on your terms, you are in charge.

If the woman's family has money then it can be a much more complicated situation.

That's my advice anyway.

Each family will be different, and their approach will be influenced by the bride. Have many long conversations with your lady about what she and you want, and agree it clearly before engaging in a negotiation with the parents!

That totally depends on the family of course.

If she has been married before or has children NO

Yes Sin Sod is a tradition in Thailand. Western culture also has traditions. Like western society today, how you approach this tradition varies all over the map. Some people do it, some not, and there are variations in between. Remember that you are in Thailand, not in your home country. There are no set rules but leaning toward the culture of the country you are living in might be a consideration.

My perspective is that you look at the big picture. If you do it then only do what you can afford. It’s no different than westerners deciding how big and expensive and elaborate their wedding ceremony will be.

Note that this is not just something they foist on westerners. Thai families practice this too. I witnessed this at my wife’s cousin’s wedding.

Sin Sod is actually a part of the traditional wedding ceremony. The specifics of the tradition vary around Thailand and by family circumstances and status. So whether it is real money given or money to be returned, there will likely be a part of the ceremony that focuses on Sin Sod. Not unlike throwing rice or flower bouquets or whatever is common in your country.

Big picture - consider the total cost of the wedding. There are going to be costs for decorations, food, photographers . . . and then there is the Sin Sod. How big a % is the Sin Sod really? Even with the Sin Sod the cost of my wedding was a fraction of what the wedding would have cost in the west. It was a forgettable line item in a much better and more beautiful wedding than my first marriage in the US.

By asking this question you have entered a black hole of expat divisiveness. 😳

My wife and I were married in Issan and the sin sod was for show only and was given back after the ceremony. It is all up to you if you want to follow the tradition but as people have said if the lady has been married before or has children it should not be expected. At 40 I would not expect it to come into the equation, but if asked for it should be returned after.

I was not asked to pay, but my future wife's family is not well off and I plan on giving her senior Mom a significant gift.

Don't pay any sin sod if it's not a thing in your culture. I'd consider it only if the wife to be was a virgin, never married with no kids from a decent and proper family.

Ours was given back but all depends on family. If your lady is an isarn gal dont see much chance of getting it back

Has she been married before?if yes no sin sod. The family has already received there sin sod. If no then it's up to the family best talking with them.

Why do you need to do it?

some want it to show face, some will also borrow a huge amount to be displayed. some needs it for ego. some might not want it, some might ask for a certain amount etc... cash or gold is common.

Depends on the family