What should I do if my Thai fiancé is asking for multiple and varying amounts for sin sod before marriage?

How much you and her respect each other

💵💵💵

Are you brain dead

Yes you are manipulated... You don't over react

100% mug

I read that the tradition is so flexible that, in order to preserve ’face’ if the groom cannot afford it, (and the family is in accord), it is borrowed from friends or relatives, then returned after the ceremony.

There is no fix amount for Sinsot. It is all up to you. The thai family will feel proud to their relatives and friends if they can show a huge amount of cash and gold. Whether the Sinsot will be returned back to you depends on the agreement you made with your in-laws. There are cases for both that I have encountered. I have been married since 2005, and during then I displayed gold bars and a stack of cash, and I got everything back, but like what I said, it depends on case by case.

You’re not married yet., so RUN FOREST RUN………

Lol run dude, I bet you have already spent a lot of money on her, end the scam.

I've been married twice never gave a penny its bullshit tell her to go get a job stop robbing ferang

Depends on your future wife / family . All the families are not the same , ask yourself the right questions .

If you go by tradition, it use to be evaluated by her age, if she is still a virgin or not and the standard of living of the family, which back in the old days, use to take an active part in finding a partner. I would highly recommend both of you read the book <Thailand Fever> which is written both in Thai and English, so you both can be enlighten with what is important for each culture in these discussions... I highly recommend to read it and understand it fully BEFORE going any further in these highly sensitive and life changing discussions. Shoke dee na pee!

The Sin Sot is an old school tradition. These days is looked as a symbol of the groom's ability to support the bride and more importantly to show off to the guests and friends. These days it is usually not given to the bride's parents but returned to the groom for the couple.

Married to a thai 11 years now in bangkok. Traditional thai degree educated, never asked for or expected 1 baht from me.

I was in Thailand 18 yrs @ married as well -there’s a lot of good responses. But you’re getting worked my friend. 500k down 2 200 k ???? Sorry & don’t seen a beer 🍺 pong ferange

You stupid farang.

You are obviously screwed man 🤣🤣🤣

Modern sin set is bit of a scam when westerners are involved.

Traditionally it was paid to a girls family if she was marrying into a lower class.

But then again.....many Thais think farang are lower class (despite their smiles!) 😉

How to become a millionaire in Thailand

Come as a billionaire

What the losers

I think you're being had ! If your unsure, buy everything under a Company Name, which means every receipt has the Company name on it and IF it goes 'tits-up' you can use the LAW to get your items back. Remember, your name is part-owner of the Thai Company and not your partner you're marrying. A good solicitor can set you up in a Thai Company Name., and it worth its wait in gold, as you can put property in the Company name.

Stand your grown,who do they think they are,approach a Thai guy and see tge difference ,my pointbof view is not against Thai culture,it is my opinion

Yes. You are being treated unfairly. Sin sod is based in age, beauty, education and drops dramatically if she has children or is divorced. Many sincere women will offer it as a ceremony, and you get it back after the wedding. I did.

If it does not feel right, that is your intuition talking to you! Doubts are your ally. Listen to them always.

The amount depend of if your fiancé is graduate and has a good work they can ask you 1 or 2 or 3 milion so 500.k then 200 means a lot to me whatever...its up to you do what is in accordance with her family that's it.

Paid about at our wedding but in return her mother gave us the land to build the house on which worked out to be about the same amount. All happy! In your case you are being taken for a ride. So on your bike!

Are you really that naive? Never paid anything to the family. Did buy a small gold ring and necklace, because I wanted to give it to her. Find another one and don't be pushed or controlled is my advice. I've seen many guys like you losing everything and going home bitter. I've also seen and know many that are happy with their choice. It's a crap shoot really. I think you are being used and scammed. Good luck!

I paid a Sinsod of cash and gold, the same amount as my wife's younger sister and brother-in-law, after the wedding and everyone had left, mum and dad wanted to chat privately with the wife and I and they gave it all back to us to start of life together. I assume they did that to the younger sister and brother-in-law too. Don't believe all the naysayers and BS monger's,. Whatever you decide to do, the most important advice I can give you is that you reconcile the whole Sinsod issue in your mind and heart or it will eat away at you and your future wife's relationship. The Sinsod is Thai culture.

Go in it with the long game in mind. You'll be paying in plenty of other ways.

Married almost 20 years to a Thai. Still waiting for the 100 Buffalo I requested when we married. 🤔☺

Elope

Run. Run fast.

*overreacting, one word. Why are people spelling words like this as two separate words these days?

It is about love not about money, you don't need to pay as much as they ask for, if you always say yes then they will ask more and more not only now but later on. What if you don't pay or no money will she still marry you?

Why buy when you can rent

300k = 600 times with 500 baht hookers. is it really worth it?

If you want to pay. It's up to you how much to give. Not the family. Don't fall in that trap. Best to look at the situation if your marriage is based on money...Because it happens all the time.

Covid prices.... Baht 2000

Tell her it’s your tradition for the family to buy you a new house in uk and a merc sports car plus pay 10 million baht into your bank account 🤡🌶🤡good luck

Married in Thailand. Several friends too. Explained we not buy a bride, we do it for love. They understood and where happy their daughter had a good future with a (hopefully) kind husband.

You might be tested how far you will go. Many times the sin sot is just a gesture to not lose face and you agree they will give you the money back after the wedding.

If you earned their respect and they not see you as a joke, sin sot will not be an issue. Too many times it is a scam. If marry for love nobody cares about sin so. A good test what your relation is about.

I married with an Amerincan many years ago. We didńt have any ceremonry and my family never ask any sin sod and my husband didńt pay any money. We all just went to have lunch together just to inform my parents that we are going to marry.

I never paid a penny sin sot when we got married, just bought a cheapish gold wedding ring. I bought her a cheap gold bracelet and necklace ages ago and that's it.

Very difficult to say goodbye to someone with whom you have such an emotional investment, but it does not sound good. If nothing else, she is really short-sighted to not appreciate the benefit to herself and child just by marrying you. Even if you object and these demands are dropped, it is very possible the obligations will continue after marriage, when you have much more to lose if you plan on buying a house and other property. Say no then and you may lose everything.

I would be incredibly disappointed but would hopefully have the sense to move on.

Doug, don't listen to all these guys who think that all is a ripoff.

It's just up to you!

Sinsot is not a farang cheat thing, all Thais that I know payed sinsot.

Speak with your wife and explain how much money you got, you as a couple. All the money you spend on sinsot will come from this amount. It's not your money, it's the money of the new family you are going to build.

Speak with your wife and explain your expenses and your income, find a way to support your new in-laws with a monthly appropriate amount that you can afford.

Be happy, enjoy your new family, don't listen to me and anybody. Do your thing.

Good luck and have a happy life with your Thai wife.

You're being ripped off mate . I paid £150 for an ingament ring £3000 for wedding and 200 wedding ring .

I have many many foreign friends of various ages and nationalities that have been married to thai women, some friends once and some have remarried afew times,

After reading your post and giving it quite some thought,

If i was you,

I would either walk away or say no to these extra demands,

If people are already asking for these things then imagine down the line and my friends said the same.

They are testing you to see just how much advantage they can take of your generosity,

Which is typical here.

Why have to follow archaic traditions in 21th century? 🤷‍♂️

My thai wife pay on me 300.000 thb to show to femliy only and give me gift after

Sin sod is a chinese tradition that thailand embraced (nothing wrong with that)showing respect to your future in laws for bringing up the woman you will marry and the cost of doing so

IF A WOMAN IS DIVORCED WITH CHILDREN A THAI MAN WILL NEVER PAY

IF A FARANG IS EXPECTED TO PAY THAT IS A BIG RED FLAG

if you choose to pay thats fine ive helped my wifes family out a little over the years BUT IVE NEVER BEEN USED AS AN ATM they are good people

Just hand over your wallet

I married a thai man

Wish I had known earlier about this

I could have made a little nest egg for my parents 🤣🤣

If she has been married before or have children you should not pay anything.

If she loves you, then she doesn't care about the money.

But if she is same as very many others, then she loves the money and not you.

Warning: DONT MARRY HER !! De Facto at best !

Manipulated

To be honest, they shouldn’t even ask for specifics

What u give is what they get. Point blank. Don’t give them leeway now

Depends on the girl if she has children and married before then nothing as in Thai customs see is a spent lady .if she is single then it's down to negotiation but the money or gold laid on the table is for show so the parents don't loose face .so if she has been married before then the money or gold on the table will be returned after the wedding.

Those that have paid it will tell you it’s needed and those that haven’t will tell you it’s just not required. The answers you will receive are solely based on the group members personal experience so won’t apply to you. IF you have felt any financial pressure during the relationship and are feeling greater pressure from the family regarding sin sot, then alarm bells would be ringing to me personally.

I only see one possible problem and its if a man doesn't trust his gut feeling somethings not right.

Walk away now

You been conned,

Never marry a Thai that is not educated. She is a criminal and also her family

Sin sod off

One born every minute

Getting shafted mate lol 😆

Has she been married or had kids before? If, so there shouldn't be sinsod

Pay fuck oll you are a mug if you do I have been married 12 years now my wife stepson and little girl are in the UK now and it cost me a lot for their visas

If the purpose of marriage is for your visa, take her and a couple witnesses with the required paperwork and just do a legal marriage. Then do a ceremony in the future.

Stop buying things. Find a new fiancé. You shouldn’t have to buy your bride.

How old is she? If she's past a certain age, her family should be paying you ;)

She going all in ??

Call ,or Walk away

not being cheeky keep your money

Theyre takeing the piss mate !!!

Gold chain 555

Get her a washing machine and a fridge freezer.

At least you can sell them 6 months later when it goes tits up....

Should be at least 2M for a nice girl

Tell her just be thankful for all the money your spending on flights visas etc Give em an inch they will take a metre 😉

If she’s old you don’t have to pay anything.

take a wild guess what happens when u run out of money. 😴

Your funny

Run away while you can

You can see a good video on this from

@Thai ************

Get rid of her.. Smell the coffee.

Whats a sin sot

Better invest in a good pair of running shoes, your been had if this is not a joke

Yes

Yes.

when my wife asked if we could mary i said ok she then said i had to pay for her and how much did i think she was worth my reply what you should pay me or your family should thats old custom in UK but whatever is fair rate she said 1 million i said ok whatever is fair rate she was confused said you bargain for everything to which i said i haven't been down to wife market recently so dont know going rate ok says she 3 million i said ok but thats it she laughed and said 200,000 if fien and al ittle gold on day we got half gold back and later all rest Its if girl and family are honest about face not at all about how much in my experience at least if its a true relationship

I'm still laughing

Sling me 500,000.00 Baht and I will tell ya 😂

Sucker if u give to their demands . Was doing translation for a Spanish guy . Since he refuse to give in he might b dead 💀 since his so call in laws are in the police force (small flies) and they live in a slam area near Donmuang . They want almost a million baht from him

Good luck btw if your so call wife already had a family what “milk money” does she needs. She has already been “milked”

Dude your being conned and taken to the cleaners. Get out while you still can. She will bankrupt you...I guarantee it

You also need to buy a gold necklace for the family buffalo.

Get out asap. It only will get worse

It sounds like a scammy business transaction ! Tell her you can't or won't pay for marrying her, if she refuses, then you have your answer. If she accepts you'll have plenty of time to help whoever YOU decide to help.

Only desperatos pay sin sod nowadays. I married Thai with a large family and sinsod was not mentioned. BTW she is not Isaan.

I am selling a Ducati if you change mind

There’s a few things one should never do: firstly, never marry a former sex worker; secondly, don’t allow her to dictate where you live, especially Isaan, if you have kids what kind of quality of education will they get there - zero, thirdly, don’t ever buy a property in her name unless you’re gifting it to her and her family, as you’ll just be a guest/cash cow; and, finally, never pay sin sod.

From my understanding, a sin sod is based on whether the bride to be has been married in the past, has children, eduction level, job position, status and age. Sin sod would also show her family that you are financially stable and can take care of their daughter, it is also a form of exchange in taking away their daughter and her duties in the family. Sin sod is truly what you can afford, it is negotiable as everything else in Thailand. There is no expected amount, but it is entertaining for the wedding guests to see how much you will be giving (especially as a foreigner) .. they expect more. most of the time if her family is good, you will get all of it back, most of it, half or some as a wedding gift.

Quite honestly, according to your post, I think your gut instinct is telling you something as I dodged a bullet myself. Though I wouldn’t want to assume completely with one post as I don’t know your bride to be’s status. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a friend request and message me.

Manipulated big time, don't pay it

Paid my wifes father 200k, in 11years she has returned the investment 20x 🤗 best ROI I have ever had... 😅

Just depends on the lady and her family. I was astonished when my wife told me buying all that was for me, not her! She was right though: buy those three gold bits (she should ask for earrings also). You just look like the cheapest schmuck to every Thai who knows if you don't or if you just buy a ring. I paid 0 though my wife is divorced and should be very little, we wanted to make it real and I am glad I did. We got it all back since her parents were dead, minus the $1200 the family/village party cost.

I'm married to a lovely, wonderful, sweet Thai woman.

It is normal in Thai culture to pay sin sod, and you are marrying a Thai. Thais are not Americans or Brits. They have a different culture.

In American culture, we have this habit of downplaying how important money is. Money is important. The Thais just recognize this truth outright, which I consider to be refreshing. In Thailand, a sinsod is you saying, "I consider your daughter and your family to be of value to me." So in Thailand, not paying a sinsod suggests you consider the bride and her family to be of no value to you. A Thai man would consider it to be a matter of pride to produce as large of a sinsod as he could afford.

Of course, we are not Thai. However, you are marrying a Thai. You can meet in the middle. Rather than providing the largest sinsod you can afford, I still think it's reasonable to put up some sort of sinsod in deference of Thai culture.

I would beware of any family that insists on an enormous 500,000 baht sinsod, as it suggests they don't understand or appreciate your culture at all, which considers it abhorrent to pay for a wife. Stay away, because there will be nothing but problems and a failed marriage.

At the same time, if you insist on paying no sinsod at all, that woman should beware of you, because it suggests you don't understand or appreciate their culture at all, which considers it insulting and awful to pay no sinsod. She should stay away, because there will be nothing but problems and a failed marriage.

My advice is to remember who you're marrying and for them to also remember who they're marrying. Surely you two can come to a sinsod which isn't too onerous. If you can't, time to break it off now.

Edited a lot for typos. Stupid phone.

Why even pay for a wife? Dude you are getting ripped off.

Sounds like a Nigerian scam 😂

We gave 500,000 but we got it all back after the wedding, it's really up to you and your future wife

I got married in 2015 and truly speaking I didn't give any sinsod and my wife or her mother never asked me about it. Just gave her wedding ring and chain Wich was cost around bath that time. My honest opinion is that if your fiance pressure you for that then you should think again for further relationship.

Asked you for a necklace too 😅 and you are still there. Run away as far as you can!

Traditionally the sin sot is negotiated by your close friend, or family member, like an uncle. If she is over 30, been married before, or has kids, it is very low, or non-existant. The wife's family does not keep the sin sot. It is given back to help finance the building, or buying of your home together, or when you have a child. It is also given to the bride if there is a divorce, so she can get back on her feet. I have been to bt4million weddings, and zero baht weddings, and the one thing I have noticed, if your gf has ever worked in a bar you will never see that money again, and because of where she worked sin sot should be zero, or no more than bt10,000.

Don’t get married to anyone ever for any “reason”.

If she is an untouched virgin. Then maybe pay something. But that is highly unlikely. I would not pay any. Trust me. You will be paying the family in one way or another the entire time you will stay married. They know the value of their daughter marrying a foreigner. If she refuses to marry you then she's not a girl you're going to want anyway.

Don’t pay owt. If they don’t like it don’t get married it’s a con

If her or the family is asking for lavish gifts and money... you are the Buffalo expected to cart the family around.

I was dating a woman who said her price was 1 million baht minimum. When I asked her why, she explained that she was high value. She owns a decent size farm with some Buffalo and has a small school. She's quite a go-getter and not lazy. I just don't understand the 1 million baht valuation in her mind...

It's pretty simple DO NOT pay sin sod , no doubt there are other ways you will pay where the funds are correctly utilised , and decent family will pay sin sod back , going by your story , this ain't going to happen with this lot .

An outdated ludicrous hang over from days gone by , I'm sure you've " kicked the can " for plenty already . Better you pick one area you'd like to support and follow that track , but certainly unnecessary .

23 yrs with my wife.NO sin sot,family has embraced me and knows that we are totally committed,never once have I been expected to support her family.Do NOT start on the wrong foot asumeing you have to constantly provide money to the family.True Thailand families would be offended.

In the west the bride's parents are to pay for everything. I sprung that on mine's family.

I have been in Thailand 44 yrs, last 10 permanently.

I live around and with thais.

Have been to at least 20 weddings, and as a photographer in many weddings.

There is always a sinsod, it is normal in Thailand.

When I married 43 yrs ago I did not have so much money, but promised help in the future.

I kept my promise, and I have a lovley thai family.

555 you must be stupid. Sinsot? 555

True meaning of gold digger -> your gf

My first fake wife the last time I saw my bride or my $$$ was at the ceremony. Lots of gifts disappeared too. 2nd fake wife a similar story. #3? Not gonna happen LOL

Married twice here, wouldnt do for anything upfront.

No Cheap Charlie btw 😀

Run run man...

I paid 20.000 bath

I paid absolutely nothing. SIN SOD wasn't even mentioned.

i lost my gf a few years ago coz the bastard who married her promised (and paid) one million baht to her family… this is not a marriage but a purchase. fuck the sinsod. i don’t think i have to add anything else…

I am a Thai, and it would cost me 500,000-1,000,000 for a marriage.

The world is full of idiots.

If it doesn’t feel right you have your own answer

Crazy old man

Have had two marriages, both Thai, one lasted over 30 years until she passed and now 14 years with my second wife. I paid no Sin Sot the first time as I had no money and the second time, as in a good financial position, I paid. Her family promptly bought more and the wife will inherit so a long term investment in my wife's future.

I have put several of my first wife's relatives through University, we had no children, after she passed with the blessing of my second wife. I spend my money as I please and thankfully I have it to spend.

Have seen millions of Baht Paid by Thais who are wealthy so use common sense and your heart. Could it be a scam in your case of course but that's for you and only you to decide. Best wishes.

I paid zero sun sot but do pay a lot in other ways over the years with helping the family etc . They have become my family and I am happy to help my family . They are good people.

I spoke with an American friend years ago and asked him about his sin sot ( he is Thai heritage but lived in America andvthey moved back to Thailand for life and marriage.)

He said he is basically the sin sot and she gets him and his wealth to look after her forever .

Yes, Some good families ask for sinsod but after all, they give everything back to the groom and bride as a gift. The family just wanna make sure about they not letting their girl to a poor man. Blah blah

But some are really a scam! Took all the money and ask for more and more.

You should make it clear with her at this point before marriage

Ps. I'm married to a foreigner without one Baht of Sinsod😊

#1 why get married? If that is your blue pilled desire then her parents and her already know a divorced mom isn't getting a sinsod...if you insist on this destructive madness negotiate with her not the parents....tell her whatever sinsod saves their face must be 100% returned to you after the ceremony...if she pushes back drop her like math class....go find another....plenty of other older single moms need saving.

500k is advance deposit, just a simple downpayment. After that it will be neverending needs for everything. Good luck, you found a gold digger, only bad thing she is digging the wrong direction.

All this would have just turned me off and I would have backed out! Just take a short break from her and try to reason through this without emotion. Being single is not a disaster after all!

Your gf is a total

Scam for asking u 0 for a sinsot. My advice : get away from her before u go broke

🤭

🤔🤔🤔be careful. Its LOVE .....not $$$ that should bind.

Just so you know, there are parties in Thailand that will lend you a bunch of banknotes and a couple of heavy gold chains just to show during the wedding ceremony and you give back in the evening. For a small fee. This would be for the eyes of the guests. That’s what they do.

It all depends on your situation. Will you be taking care of them after you get married or will you leave them? If your leaving them give them a small amount, but if your there helping with the monthly bills give them nothing! It's outdated now, just another way for people to get money out of your pocket.

From the looks of her you are being scammed beyond belief.... no Thai guy would be paying a sinsot

My Sin Sod went down to 0

Sin sot is basically the same as every other countries' marriage customs. You give out of your heart. If something feels off to you, then follow your gut about it. I talked with my partner about it before and if your better half can't accept your offer of 'sin sot', best you run, mate.

Give cash??! You should get cash for saving her. Hhhhh

I Got Married in Thailand in 2011, The Amount was up to me, So as I had been to my Wife's Sisters wedding a Yr or So before, I used the Amount Given by her husband as my Guide. It was About 250,000 Baht, I think. But, I don't think there is any Set or Expected Amount. I have also seen Cases where the Amount Given is Given back to the Bride & Groom as a Wedding Gift. So, It all depends on various things.

Also depends on if your seen as a Walking ATM. ???.

I Wish you all the Best.

Congratulations & Good Luck.

Don't pay anything

The phase “up to you” and “take care” is a very huge word in their dictionary. Hope this helps

Had the guts pumped out of her and here you are paying for the privilege like you are buying a brand new model. Don’t get married because inevitably you end up moaning with all your farang friends who all have the same problems .

Marry me Sir

I am very low maintenance kind of person😂😂😂

A sinsod doesnt HAVE to be anything. It is mainly for show to the other guests. Many times you can get most of it back after the wedding. Set the terms before hand.Its up to you if you want to keep on good terms with her family.

I asked for sinsot of 1 baht. The family laughed but it makes clear those days of foreigners paying thousands are well and truly over.

I agree when divorced there is no more sin sot according to my thai friend. So yes you are being scammed by her and her family if it comes from them

If you don't already know her intentions then you shouldn't be getting married.

Really 🤡

They are scamming you

Learn to say No was the best advice I was ever given in Thailand

Milk the stupid Farang

Nope if she's divorced with child you should pay nothing

Min was 200k which was for show mine went to the house builder all the gold was already bought and was my wife's but I did buy the mother in law a 2Bhat Necklace after as a gift thats it.

Also has she any children ? Was she a virgin before you met her is she highly educated ? Has she been married before ?

Just marry a wealthy woman. Much easier.

This custom is outdated. You should pay nothing. I think your gut feeling is telling you

A lot cheaper to stay single! It doesn't stop at the sin sod! That's just the deposit! 🤣

Why get married

There is no requirements to a "sin sot" by law. Pay whatever you and her want to pay. When I got married, I paid nothing because I don't believe women should be bought.

I think you know the answer to that one .,what next ?

I told the inlaws that I wouldn't pay...it's a con..if she wants YOU she won't expect it.

Yup, how long have you known her? If it doesn't feel right, it's not right.

My Thai wife says it's a con.

Bahahaha. My ex wanted 1 million. I walked away.

Mine was 0 which was just for show as it went straight to the builders the next week, and the gold we had was from Mother in laws safe.

Depends on your future wife and in laws.

But if it doesnt feel right dont do it.

If she has been married before it should be heavily discounted. 200k take it or leave it should be enough. Tell her that in Western tradition the brides family pay for the wedding reception and then book a 5 star venue. See how they cope with tradition then

just wondering - is she single , never married ? kids ? education ? - is she is divorced there is no sinsod anymore

Slippery slop if you start out paying it will continue.

How well do you get on with the parents? Negotiate. I was initially told 5 baht gold but then they said nothing because you take care family and love daughter. IMHO if the lady has had children, worked in a bar or been in a relationship before then Sinsod should just be a token amount of gold say 1 or 2 baht. Any cash on display at the wedding should be clearly decided whose it is and what happens with it after the wedding.

Just priming you for the future

manipulated. haha