@Ian ********
sadly a yellow house book and the equally worthless pink i/d card for foreigners are not going to help you in the least get an extension
So you have a 90 day Non-O visa now?
unless you meet the financial requirements for an extension based on marriage to a thai (400K baht in a thai bank account in your name only for 60 days BEFORE you apply for the year extension) you are unlikely to get one.
You do NOT need the letter from your consulate to apply for a 60 day visit thai family extension based on marriage to a thai.. <- That is the one I'd try for first (unless of course you DO meet the proof of funds when you can just apply for a year extension based on marriage)