If anyone is an idiot like me and in the New York area, the Thai Embassy in NYC is closed and not accepting visa applications until April 1st.
TLDR : Answer Summary
The Thai Embassy in New York City is currently closed and not accepting visa applications until April 1st, as of the message posted. This situation is echoed by comments indicating similar issues at the LA Consulate, along with concerns about returning to Thailand amidst travel restrictions and health advisories related to COVID-19.