Answereda year ago
What are the best cities in Thailand for expats looking for genuine relationships and a good social scene?
Okay so I got an overwhelming response to my last post about buying in Thailand and finding a bride at 47. Thanks for all the advice, I now understand about how polluted certain places get, to watch out for scammers and ladies that just want your money, to rent first and experience the culture as I might not like the culture or the area.
Are there areas that have living local westerners to socialise with as well as offering genuine ladies? I'm not interested in the drinking/nightclub scene, just chilling with good company 👍
Are there areas that have living local westerners to socialise with as well as offering genuine ladies? I'm not interested in the drinking/nightclub scene, just chilling with good company 👍
Answer summary
The post discusses an expat's recent experiences and inquiries about living in Thailand, particularly focused on finding suitable areas for socializing with local Westerners and meeting genuine women, avoiding the nightlife scene. Comments highlight various cities like Udon Thani, Hat Yai, Hua Hin, and Kanchanaburi as potential locations, each with unique attributes ranging from Western communities to cultural richness. Multiple commenters advise on the importance of renting first to gauge the local culture, and several emphasize caution regarding relationships with Thai women to avoid common pitfalls.
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Michael ********
Don't marry one. Just date, you will thank me later. Trust me, I made that mistake. You do not, and never will understand their culture, period. Or their language. Just have fun and don't commit
Bill *********
@Michael *******
100% agreed!
Mma *******
@Michael *******
nor should one want to understand the culcha, arm’s length is just fine.
Lee *************
You want real Thai...
Issan for living coast for holidays
Issan for living coast for holidays
Christopher ******
No you don't understand. Hang about for another couple of years. I sense you may be just a tad naive.
Samm ********
Being Australian you may well need to be fairly close to the coast, there’s lots of beautiful areas but without coastal proximity I would personally write them off (but that’s me), Hua Hin offers what you’re looking for
Grant *********
Be a butterfly u r better off.
Raven ********
You’re 47 and you’re looking for a wife like you’re on a shopping trip and you’re coming to a country with a significantly lower cost of living and you want genuine ladies?🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Are there no genuine western ladies where you came from?
Makes no sense to come to a foreign country and not hang out with the citizens?
You came this far to search for westerners to hang out with? And think your “genuine lady” is here?
Dude…. Maybe bump yourself up to an escort agency and request a “genuine lady”, so you don’t marry a ladyboy.
Makes no sense to come to a foreign country and not hang out with the citizens?
You came this far to search for westerners to hang out with? And think your “genuine lady” is here?
Dude…. Maybe bump yourself up to an escort agency and request a “genuine lady”, so you don’t marry a ladyboy.
Troy *********
OP@Raven *******
unfortunately no, ladies aren't what they used to be, they don't stand by there men, the moment things get tough they bail out, or they have kids and leave, I see it far to often.
Peter *****************
Beware dude.A lot buy one cow got g/mother ,Brother and babies cow.
Jonathan ***********
@Troy ********
stay away from bars and you’ll land a ladyStick with bars and you’ll get a girl who know nothing except drinking and taking trash
Steven *********
Lmao
Sylvia ********
Suggest you learn some Thai and travel for 1st year. Every province is different, pattaya or Jomtien has bad reputation BUT I don't drink and have great life here. Easy to get involved with sport, golf, sailing, charity work and then make friends with good hearted and business ladies
Mike ***********
@Sylvia *******
Sylvia how much Thai have you learned. Hahaha. Everyone she is my friend. We talk about how hard Thai is to learn.
Sylvia ********
@Mike **********
this person is 47, most young expats can speak, my neighbour of 73 goes to lessons. Unfortunately my hearing is poor so can't hear the tones
Jarek ************
Hua Hin is great if you're just waiting for your final days, not much to do. Chiang Mai way more interesting with some amazing roads for riding/driving...
Bill *********
@Jarek ***********
HH is called God's waiting room!
James **********
Just take your time look at different provinces find a place you personally like and try it out ,,, I came to live in Thailand 2023 it’s not easy at first 18 months it took me to find a honest sincere lady and boy oh boy did I go through a few ,,, I’m now living with samai in Korat , be careful very careful with the bar lady’s couldn’t lie straight in bed if they tried ,
Jeremy ********
Try Vietnam the just changed the citizenship requirements
You can be a citizen if you marry a Vietnamese woman and you can have a Vietnamese name Which is great for banking reasons
You can be a citizen if you marry a Vietnamese woman and you can have a Vietnamese name Which is great for banking reasons
True ********
You need to travel around and get yourself some experience up mate. As advised on your last post, rent in a few different areas and see what you like. Also, finding a lady is no different than anywhere else in the world too, obviously you don't expect to find a genuine lady working in a bar etc. Slow down, one step at a time and you'll likely figure it out. Have you ever been to Thailand before? Why are you looking for a bride too?
Benny ******
47 and my age. Sounds adventurous. The fact that you're not into drinking, clubbing and just finding easy women and wanting to actually settle down you've already got the biggest downfalls out of your way. If you do this right you just might end up out of this with a happy ending.
Frankie *********
Hua hin or chiang mai
Bill *********
I've learned Thailand is best enjoyed being and staying single. It's okay to have 1 or 2 or 3 girlfriends but avoid any long-term commitment. There seems to be a huge population of single moms. Should you encounter such, run away as fast as possible as you will never be treated as number one.
Michael ********
@Bill ********
The girls have children so there is someone to take care when they get older, there is no social security here, not many girls with children actual ever went through a marriage ceremony, it does not mean anything here the Thai blokes just piss off whenever they find another girl.Bill *********
@Michael *******
That's understandable; children are their retirement plan. My point is aimed at us frangs who find a nice girl to learn there's 1, 2, 3 kids at home or at her parents. If you want instant family, fine, but realize you'll always be far down the priority list and looked at as even more of an ATM.Michael ********
@Bill ********
Can't argue with that Bill.Troy *********
OP@Michael *******
sounds shittyTroy *********
OP@Michael *******
I don't expect the same as my country, women here have forgotten what it means to stand by your manMichael ********
@Troy ********
Its life here mate, why do everyone who comes here expect it to be the same as their own countries ? Certain things are much better, the weather, the cost of living and NO illegal immigrants, illegals here are ejected immediately, and to live here you have to prove you have funds to support yourself.Rae ******
@Bill ********
Thats for you. Specific advice contrary to what the OP asked.Bill *********
@Rae *****
Very applicable to the topics brought up. Who cares what you think about it?
Siriwan ****
Huahin is small seaside town. And there are plenty of us (Non Bar girls) out here who's looking for date as well and like many people mentioned above if any of the girls mentioned sick cow, sick buffalo or sick mother run! Good luck!
Dave **********
@Siriwan ***
hi. Good advice.Rae ******
@Siriwan ***
Small seaside town, how quaint, if only that were true. I owned two houses there, but the day I got a parking ticket in a quiet side street away from the main drag where I had parked for years, is when I realised it had changed. Live in real thailand not some warped disney version all sparkle and hookers and overpriced places. I speak as someone who has three cars here several houses and condos and four businesses, so I am not talking out of my pocket, If you want a lovely, full of flowers, scenic and friendly place, I have not found better than Nakhon Si Thammarat. The girls and women are not interested in Falangs down there, there are genuine women who dont see you as an ATM, its not full of hookers, lots of great hotels, lively night life at times that does not revolve around hookers. Best drive in Thailand up to Khanom, and Samui and Phucket in reach if you want islands. Trains and planes to everywhere from there. And the air is good all year around. Property and rentals are cheap.Rae ******
I will be there in a few weeks I will say hello. I am currently developing a premises as a bakery/cafe, and I love to bake, though it will be run by a manager, so we have something in common. I currently am getting over a stomach op. but next week will be baking Focaccia. Best wishes.
Rae ******
I am sure you will love it. There are lots of small shopping areas off the main roads, and they are beautiful too. They look expensive but aren't. Its a prosperous city but spread out and pretty. The food is great and prices very reasonable. New condos are being built and houses are cheap and available. You have an easy drive to Phattalung and the lakes. And Sichon and Tha sala are lovely seaside places. Then Khanom beyond and a quick island hop to Samui if that's your thing. Super friendly immigration bureau. Some very good hospitals and nice airport and sleeper trains to BKK with your own overnight compartment for just over 1000 baht. When your baby bird has flown mother bird can spread her wings.
Siriwan ****
@Rae *****
If you come back to Huahin. Please stop by I set up a small stall selling homemade bread and bakery every Wednesday and Saturday at Bluport Huahin on the 3rd floor. I enjoy Baking and it's better than visiting the shrink for sure 😊 Your next treat on me!Siriwan ****
@Rae *****
Nakorn Sri Thamarat is nice, yes. I have a friend who lives there. Nice people, lovely mountain. I've never been but I heard very good weather all year round. I'm hoping that when my daughter goes to college I'll travel around Thailand more.
Monair ********
I live in Hua Hin on the coastline. There are alot of foreigners her mainly old retirees. I live here also very nice place to live. I dont go to bars and hang with bar girls. I visit nightmarkets and travel to different places here. It is very affordable. I would definitely recommend it.
Mma *******
Don’t buy a house. Do u need to get married? Can u just partner without marriage.
Take it slow bro alot of traps in this country.
Take it slow bro alot of traps in this country.
Bill *********
@Mma ******
Exactly, just shack up. I'm always perplexed about the attraction to marriage. Leave your options open!
Alan *********
@Bill ********
100% agree. I have had a close female friend now for over a year, we do a lot together but I refuse to call her my gf and I don't let her stay with me for more than 3 nights a week. I know she wants more but that is my limit and it works perfectly for me. She has a job so supports herself but I am happy to pay for her food when we go out. I have no intention of making my life more complicated than that.Bill *********
@Alan ********
Right on man! So glad at least someone gets it. Spread the word! 👍
Patrick ********
Troy listen carefully. Breath, just breath. Don't rush into anything. Take it easy and step by step. Love and happiness will find you when the conditions are right. Don't force it or you will never really enjoy Thailand. Go with the flow. Stop rushing
Sylvia ********
@Patrick *******
perfect advice, just like I the western world finding the ideal partner may take a couple of years.Rae ******
@Patrick *******
Well he ain't gonna just breathe in some of the places suggested, if he moves there it would literally be the last thing he does. And a lot quicker than for others.
Hank *********
Thai Cupid works well with common sense
David *******
Best is to not rush into it.
Travel around and try a month here and there.
Chiangmai,Chiangrai, Udonthani,
Kanchanaburi, southern beach areas etc.
Personally I like the north with holidays to the south.
You are still young so no hurry about a woman.It will happen, but avoid rushing into marriage.
Best not to take Thai woman back to your country to live and stay here. They often dessert you once they have a visa.
Good luck
Travel around and try a month here and there.
Chiangmai,Chiangrai, Udonthani,
Kanchanaburi, southern beach areas etc.
Personally I like the north with holidays to the south.
You are still young so no hurry about a woman.It will happen, but avoid rushing into marriage.
Best not to take Thai woman back to your country to live and stay here. They often dessert you once they have a visa.
Good luck
Rae ******
@David ******
Three of those are so polluted, lung cancer will be your long term friend, though you might meet a nice nurse during treatment. Why do people keep selling the crap about places that are at times among the most polluted in the worl. At one time in the last two years Chiang Mai was actually measured as worse than the busiest road junction in Lahore. People usually selling hard have businesses there that tourists are shunning because of pollution or they have unsaleable property and are trying to shift it. Look at the maps from NASA to see Thailand aflame in the burning season, then pick somewhere not too bad.Ally ************
You clearly don't live and have never lived in CM.. your information does not reflect the reality of living in CM one iota.. in fact your 'insight' couldn't be further from the truth.. I'm interested to learn who did the measuring you refer to, when was it taken, and what was their professional accreditation.. you say it was worse than Lahore without saying worse for what exactly.. maybe its for the number of fresh markets per square mile I'm not sure.. I'm guessing it was a 10 minute spot check on a Wednesday in February with a reading taken from the edge of a farmers field that he'd just started burning.. because there's no other way this data can be factual.. do you think millions of people would live in CM province if it was really as bad as the picture you paint!
Ally ************
Rae Wang Do you live in CM or did you live in CM in 2023? I'm guessing not.. but we did.. we lived it.. every minute of it.. therefore my 'actual' experience trumps any statistic you can throw at me.. you know there are 3 types of lies right.. there's lies, there's damn lies, and there's statistics! You believe whatever mush you can trudge up from a google search.. I'll believe what i see with my own eyes and what my bodily reactions confirm relative to my environment.. but thanks for confirming that govts and corporations can be wrong.. or worse, that they will purposely lie to further an agenda.. as people who are jabbed and boosted are now starting to find out!
Ps. And if anyone wants to debate that i suggest you go and take care look at a telegram channel called 'covidbc'!!
Ps. And if anyone wants to debate that i suggest you go and take care look at a telegram channel called 'covidbc'!!
Rae ******
@Ally ***********
So Nasa is wrong, the thai government who told people to stay indoors are wrong, every monitoring station of which there are 15, in and around Chiang Mai, every reputable agency collecting stats. Are wrong and this...''In 2024, nearly 360,000 people in Chiang Mai sought medical treatment for illnesses linked to air pollution—primarily respiratory problems caused by severe PM2.5 exposure. This made Chiang Mai the most affected province in northern Thailand, according to the Thai Ministry of Public Health.'' All wrong, but you are right. Thanks for clarifying that.Rae ******
I see you are off your meds again.
Ally ************
@Rae *****
You'll be telling me next that 'climate change' is actually a thing.. and not a trumped up notion to extort money from a stupid populous.. who can't see they are being ruled by a ds mafioso.. one that uses fear porn to create wealth and maintain their power base!Ally ************
@Rae *****
Were you living in CM in March 2023.. or were you living elsewhere.. because we were resident in CM for not only the month of March but for the whole year.. and freely travelled around the city and the wider province on occasion.. and i can tell you that these statistics are a complete nonsense.. they are not representative of the climate in CM as a whole during said period.. but it is conceivable that a very small area was severely affected and the backdraft of localised fires momentarily affected air quality further away.. but that would have been the extent of it.. furthermore, it's not just improbable, but verging on the completely impossible, for readings to have been taken across the whole province at the intervals necessary to make this data reliable.. and having lived right in the middle of the suggested smog zone throughout.. i can tell you it's complete and utter bs!Ally ************
You statement says 'in some districts' so please confirm which districts and how many districts in total.. and what percentage of all districts actually hit the 'high' of 500 that you present as a blanket statistic.. because again, without this information your statistic is meaningless!
Ally ************
@Rae *****
Okay, so how briefly.. was it 1-month, 1-week, 1-day, 1-hour, or 1-minute.. please be specific.. because without this information such a statistic is meaningless!Ally ************
@Rae *****
Your comment about a road junction in Lahore was without reference.. hence my retort!Rae ******
You do know of course, that Lahore is in the world, Hence Chiang Mai was more polluted than Lahore.
Rae ******
@Ally ***********
''In fact, in March 2023, Chiang Mai briefly ranked as the most polluted city in the world, with AQI readings exceeding 500 in some districts'' Thats from .AQI Chiang Mai Air Quality Index (AQI) | Air PollutionReal-time PM2.5, PM10 air pollution level in Chiang Mai, ''IQAir: A private company that provides real-time AQI rankings and forecasts through its AirVisual platform, often cited in media reports.''
David *******
@Rae *****
Get a life.Do you smoke or sit next to smokers?
If you read my reply I said I go south for the beach every year(during smoky months or use that time to visit family abroad.)
Do you eat bacon,sausages and other processed food, smoked foods etc.? (carcinogenic)
Not selling anything ,but answering a question.
Why do you troll?
Rae ******
You cant live there a good part of the year yet you tell someone to live there? Devoid of logic and sense, like your good self. Where do you suggest he holidays, Chernobyl? And I dont smoke or sit next to smokers. And if you think eating an occasional bacon sandwich is the same as four months in one of the most polluted places on earth. Yes, look it up. You are more seriously deluded and should seek help.
Belinda ******
Hua Hin is beautiful, fab beach and only 4 hours from Bangkok, large ex Pat community, great bars and restaurants and 2 great shopping malls with great food.
Rae ******
@Belinda *****
Yes if you want great food the Mall is the place to go. NOT
Paul ********
Its a lottery ... good luck mate
Steve ***********
Check things out, there are friends to hangout with
Braulio *********
555
Don *********
My guess is you’ll be happy in Hua Hin - it’s affordable, can be a bit quiet but there’s life if you look for it, and probably a good chance of finding a decent lady there - suggest trying the real estate agents as they are generally well presented and have great English skills.
HH can get a little polluted in the burning season (as it’s on the Gulf rather than the West coast) but not onerous.
There’s now a relatively fast train service to Bangkok, and has 2-3 decent sized malls with plenty of western products. If you play golf there are plenty of options.
So try it out for a couple of years, find a nice lady but if after that time you still find it too quiet then I’d suggest try one of the quieter part of Phuket.
HH can get a little polluted in the burning season (as it’s on the Gulf rather than the West coast) but not onerous.
There’s now a relatively fast train service to Bangkok, and has 2-3 decent sized malls with plenty of western products. If you play golf there are plenty of options.
So try it out for a couple of years, find a nice lady but if after that time you still find it too quiet then I’d suggest try one of the quieter part of Phuket.
Don *********
Aaand there you have it: one person thinks HH is too busy and prefers somewhere quieter with fewer westerners.
And the second person thinks HH is too quiet and boring.
So basically it will come down to your personality type: are you an introvert (getting your energy from being isolated with few human interactions - so Isaan) or an extrovert (getting your energy from being around like minded people - so say Phuket or Bangkok) ?
HH is somewhere between the two. Too quiet for me but I have several friends who love living there.
And the second person thinks HH is too quiet and boring.
So basically it will come down to your personality type: are you an introvert (getting your energy from being isolated with few human interactions - so Isaan) or an extrovert (getting your energy from being around like minded people - so say Phuket or Bangkok) ?
HH is somewhere between the two. Too quiet for me but I have several friends who love living there.
Rae ******
@Don ********
Its overcrowded, polluted with hardly any places to park in season and twice as dear as most places where there are mostly Thais and less falangs.Bill *********
@Don ********
A couple of years!? Lol! I didn't last a week; wayyyy too boring. It's okay for maybe a weekend trip, but bring your own companion. I found a couple bars, but the girls there were, shall we say, rather "seasoned" and certainly had not missed any meals! Bangkok is the place to be...love it here!
Victoria *******
@Bill ********
are you also ‘seasoned’ and well fed?Bill *********
@Victoria ******
Happily, maturity is well regarded in men. I'm more worldly now than at half my age for sure. Lol...too well fed, but I'm working on that and will be in good shape before 2026.
Yo ****
Is this your first time in Thailand? If yes then you should try staying in different province, every province in Thailand has different culture, food and dialogue.
Different character of people too.
The food and cultures is amazing.
Different character of people too.
The food and cultures is amazing.
Dana ******
Buriram has been a great city. Good people and a thriving expat scene. Bonus if you like futbol or motorsport.
Darin ********
@Dana *****
raised in the country side and lived in many famous cities. Give me the comforts of a family farm life with the ease of a car to travel in comfortDarin ********
@Dana *****
l live near Pakham about 40 minutes highway drive from Buriram and love the village life style and still close enough to enjoy other cultures and life style. Very cheap option but you really need a car for convenience but not mandatoryDana ******
@Da***
, same situation here. Im I'm a tiny village outside Prakhon Chai. I get to Buriram a couple times per month. A car is needed or you could be isolated. I imagine living in the city would be far more convenient.
Liam ***********
@Dana *****
yeh agree,burriram is a good place to try retirement,rent 6 months first
Dang ***********
Hey Troy,I’m American living in Kanchanaburi which is about 1
***
hours from BKK. I’m retired and loved it here. I see a lot of expats here living in the main town. I’m Thai also so if you need advice I could help with dealing with Thai. So check it out
Shane *************
@Dang **********
it's a gt8 place to live if you play golf there's plenty of coursesDang ***********
@Shane ************
I’m not a golfer but I definitely know there is a lot of great golf courses. I enjoyed the most about here is the beauty of areas,the rush green mountains,wonderful lakes and rivers and of course the great local and their food.Rae ******
@Dang **********
and you have unbreathable air four months a year, I should know I live there, except for 4 months a year.Dang ***********
@Rae *****
I’m not sure what you mean but I lived here for the last 10+ months and maybe about a month or so. That the air quality is bad and It’s not for a long time jurist for a few days at a time. Sometimes you got to the bad with a lot of the good I guess.Rae ******
You are right. If you have a pressing reason to be there. I am there because I started out there. But the burning season has got worse. And, I know that lung cancer rates have shot up. especially in children. When the Thai government tell its own population to stay indoors you know its bad. I go away four months every year, abroad or the south. I am not happy with that. But I follow the air pollution readings and I know how bad it gets. The PM 2.5 is so dangerous because it is so small it crosses the blood /brain barrier and accumultes in every organ, including the brain. And its cancerous. Personally I won't take that risk. Long term exposure is extemly hazardous. As for the 'I dont want to live forever' brigade. I have a friend who is a sister on a cancer ward. At the end they are always begging and desperate to try anything.
John **********
Check out Hat Yai...cleanest air for a major city, good infrastructure, food scene, intl airport, close to beaches, lower cost vs expat areas.
Matty *********
Dave **********
@John *********
and very near the problematic 3 southern departments with Muslim terrorism. I spent 2 weeks there, must admit it didn't feel too bad. But just be aware
Nev ********
@John *********
Just my opinion, but I think it feels more Malaysian than Thai.John **********
@Nev *******
Yep..more of a mix.
Von ***********
@John *********
hmmm how is the separatist activity down there now though, Patani has seen an upsurge in violence being perpetrated.John **********
@Von **********
No issues at all in Hat Yai. Pattani is 100km further south. It's a very popular destination for Malay & Singaporeans. MUCH safer than Pattaya.
Deeze **********
I'm 47 and got married to a Thai lady from Udon Thani.
If they mention scooter, buffalo or start calling you big boss..... you know it's time to get the wallet out. 🫤
If they mention scooter, buffalo or start calling you big boss..... you know it's time to get the wallet out. 🫤
David *********
@Deeze *********
Does e po nine mean big bossDeeze **********
@David ********
Dunno, I get told this in English.....
Chris *******
@Deeze *********
Gold and house?Deeze **********
@Chris ******
Do you want to "take my land and build a house"? No my dear I don't want to "take" your land....as that's impossible 🤷♂️
Sasi ************
Udonthani is a large city with large Westerners population. It’s convenient to all parts of the country within an hour also by the plane. Many direct flights to various cities as well.
Mixed of cultural/nature and city life. Checking it out.
Mixed of cultural/nature and city life. Checking it out.
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