What visa options are available for someone married to a Thai citizen who frequently visits Thailand for extended stays?

There is no problem to visit, don't listen to this experts. You are coming with your Thai wife, no reason for holidays in the 60 day period to do any visa.

How about a METV: Multiple Entry Tourist E–Visa??

A 6 month multiple entry visa,this allows you 60 days at a time in Thailand ,you can come and go as many times as you want,if you time it correctly you get 60 day every time you enter ,if you enter with only 1 day of still valid of the 6 months you still get 60 days .

If you are over 50 a non O with a 12month extension might be better you can get a multiple re-entry permit that allows you freedom to come and go or you can go to immigration at the airport and get a re-entry permit every time you leave the multiple entry permit will probably be the cheapest option.

For me the Non-O based on marriage is not ideal for you and neither is the Non-O based on retirement due to the inability to get an extension of stay within your travel time frames. Take a look at the Non-OA visa which is a 12 month visa with built in multiple entry. It does require insurance, police check and medical though so you need to factor that in.

DTV

Don't worry about the exemption visa. The authorities are not looking for you as you are a 'legit' tourist on family visit.

I’m here seeing my family of 12 years including a 7 year old child 12 dogs and the girlfriend. Never had a visa until now which is a 6month METV. I’ve been here 2 months in a weeks time. I will go to Lao and drink the Beer Lao, for 20baht a small can (not beer Laos, beer Lao) and return and get another( I believe) 2months

Maybe 1 month I’m sure you have a few euros you don’t want in the Borse exchange, get it deposited asap in a Thai account and enjoy being able to call yourself an ex-pat, can you imagine being able to tell moaning tourist “ Just get the correct visa !” Just typing it out will be worth the 800kBaht alone.

It is highly doubtful that you will be able to enter Thailand three times within a one-year period, each time on a 90-days Non-Imm-O Marriage to a Thai Wife Visa. Not only will the issuing embassy start wondering, but also Thai Immigration from a certain point on will pull you aside and might want to know why you are not changing the 90-days stay permit to a one-year extension of the stay permit based on marriage to a Thai wife, with 400,000 THB in your Thai bank account (which you actually can use to pay expenses) , and buy a multi re-entry permit for 3800 for the full year stay permit - and thus you can exit, re-enter and exit again, as many times as you wish during one year. Even using a 60-days single entry Tourist Visa each time, will not offer you a guarantee for a trouble free re-entry - after three times 60 days within one year, you have reached the limit

Why are there "problems" now with visa-exempt ?

And, if you want to prevent problems, why not just buy a Tourist visa in your home country ?

They're what, about $40 USD ? $80 for the 2 of you ?

Your airfare likely costs many times that.

The Visa exempt is the easiest, just fill out the TDAC form. They like Tourists that visit and go back home. What they dont like are people that try to game the system

visa exempt give you 60 days, but might change to 30 days.

as you are going out, and back into Thailand, it might be better for you to get a 90 days turist Visa. You can use the non-O but it is a lot simpler to get the turist Visa, and that should be enough for you.

While the multiple entry non-O isn't available, based on the duration of your stays you could get away with just doing a few single entries per year. It'll cost a bit more, but shouldn't be any problem.

You can apply online at your local Thai embassy before your trip. Keep the common files you'll upload in a folder since you'll be doing this 2-3 times per year so you'll be ready each time. Things like proof of your marriage, passport bio page scan, etc.

With the non-O based on marriage you'll receive a 90 day stamp on entry to Thailand. If you want to go somewhere during this time, purchase a single re-entry permit from your local immigration office or at the airport on your way out. Unfortunately it's not available at land borders if that's how you visit other countries, so you'll have to plan ahead a bit to get it from immigration. When you return with your re-entry permit you'll be stamped back in for the same date you received when you entered at the airport, maintaining your original 90 days.